1. |
Better Off
03:02
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There are many paths to the same conclusion
I prefer to ignore most to avoid confusion
But one could be that it’s not worth it
Continuing on without a purpose
But I don't want to use that voice
I'm better off if I feel I don't have a choice
I don't want to make all that much noise
It's easier to justify
Just that kind of thinking
But then you sit & wonder why
You feel your ship is sinking
But I'm not satisfied
Dismissing all that logic
But falling into it you just get bit
So I split the difference
But I don't want to pick a side
I'm better off if I feel I can slide right on by
I don’t want to make an awful cry
It makes it worse to hold it in
But I can't help it
I think it through & mull it down
'Til i feel confident
I don't know why
Have over half a mind but I never speak it
It’s like I'm keeping a secret
My mind’s a convection oven
But I can't share its heat
Am I incomplete?
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2. |
Serialize
03:18
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I wanted to serialize
The sharpest colors of your eyes
Freely, folded neatly
Lost completely
Please come meet me
I wanted to see your eyes
In a series of numbers & lines
Oaken wood planks
Unspoken confessions & omens
Our glasses are broken
I forgot to vocalize my thoughts
Continuing understood
It was as if you could
Hear what I was thinking
But I don't think you were thinking
You only see yourself
I cant see anything
As far as i can yell
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3. |
Always
03:39
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I'm always in awe of what you do
Electrify me because you have to
I’m always at odds with whatever’s wrong
I had a shot but i took too long
I’m always withdrawn from something new
Withdrawal from everything because of you
I'm always undone from some solar wind
Blow me down & burn my skin
Ignore my exclusion, self-imposed
I don’t want an intrusion or to be exposed
I want to feel at home
No I need to be at home
& I feel most at home
When warmth flows through my bones
My hands refuse to lose
Their grip around the fuse
Every outlet's in use
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4. |
Note
02:19
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Sometimes my heart gets in my throat
And I cant sing another note
I've waited long enough
For something good to come
Now I can't stand to see the sun
Knots in my hair
Knots in my throat
I don't want to be remote
It's not my choice
I have no way
To make what I wanna say stay
I'm unconcerned with
All the secrets
I tell myself
Late at night
I'm uninvolved with
All the ideas
I come up with
When i'm unproductive
Sometimes I’ll start to close my eyes
Before I start to see sunlight
Not satisfied with all my words
& I don't know what could be worse
Its not a choice that I can make
I want to speak but I know what’s at stake
I always feel I'm in the way
I never want to feel that way
I wanted to still be cold
But how could I when I can't afford
To keep it down or let this pass?
I have to make all of this last
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5. |
Koan
02:14
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Said "We’ll see
Where the snowfall leads."
I knew
Into the ground with you
Experience is the greatest teacher
But I’m predisposed to bleachers
I have always loved
I can only love
If life’s a koan
I know now how I will go on
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6. |
Nothing
02:35
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Snow flurries outside
I hurry into the light
Wind blurry in my eyes
Small snowfall, no real size
One inch, maybe less
Melts before it hits my chest
In this weather, depressed
Waiting for icy regret
Can’t find it; I don’t know what
Sharp contrasts; I don’t know one
Can’t find it; special feeling
Bright sunbeams on the ceiling
Green fauna's somehow wilting
In the daylight; sun is lilting
The horizon, lightness filling
I will find it, spirit willing
No fulfillment no matter the season
I can believe that I can keep on dealing
With the ways the summer starts to make me
Wish for the winter months within me
When winter comes I’ll start over
Within weeks I will get over
The hilly incline weighing on the ground where I’m found
But soon enough the ground’s torn up
Try to plant on it but it may not exist
Nothing exists if not prescribed a purpose
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7. |
Figment Painting
03:14
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See a picture a hundred times
On the hundredth try something new hits your eye
Hold your head in your hands
This new perspective is plainly not what you had planned
This is not a memory bank account withdrawal
I’m dreaming vivid imagery with an awful awe
When will that song not explore
The same special feeling that it had before?
When will that face not implore
The same awful feeling anymore?
Oil on canvas freshly painted is an awful sight to see
Even being newly created it drags out long lost memories
Pigment fading from a canvas page
Reflecting all the changes we have made
Figment painting, filaments strained
Falling from the wall but still remains
The colored shades are finite
The lines already drawn
I could never look at them for long
When will that painting comfort me
The way I always knew it used to be?
When will that noise not prefix
Figments i’d prefer did not exist?
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8. |
Do It All
04:43
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I wanted to do it all
What that meant; nothing at all
As far as i can recall
I was an immovable wall
I wanted to feel like fall
But what if that couldn’t be culled?
What if I didn't change at all?
What if I didn't change....
What I've learned
Is too absurd
For words
Rhetorical q&a
I made it all up, it has no say
But what would it say?
What would it have to say?
What I heard
Wasn’t worth
All my words
I wanted to question it
Even though I've already read it
The problem is not within the answer
The problem is in the fabric of the asker
What if i didn’t change….
What I've earned
Is not a term
That’s inferred
What i wanted
Thought I lost it
But I couldn’t
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Blue Stoplights Chicago, Illinois
midwestern friends making homemade songs
contact: bluestoplightsband@gmail.com
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